Raymond Carver is an interesting author that has been through many different trials which gives him s platform to reach different audiences. I find it interesting that he is talking about love since he went through a divorce. Usually, when individuals go through such a hardship, they do not like to discuss the topic of love. I really like his quote that states,” Everything we write is, in some way, autobiographical. An author may not mean to incorporate their personal lives in their stories, but it typically tends to happen.
I was initially intriqued when I saw the title, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, because I was curious of what his views were going to be on the topic being that he experience a divorce.
In his case, the love of a marriage, which is suppose to form an unending bond between two people, did not last forever like I’m sure he hoped. Many people have to face divorce and deal with losing “the love of their life,” on a daily basis. why is this? Is it that people fall out of love, or is it that they do not fully understand what love is? People have different opinions on love. For instance, in the story, Mel describe love as being nothing less than spiritual love while Terri claimed that her ex loved her even though he physically abused her. I am sorry Terri, but that is most definitely not true love. Love is patient and kind and is not easily angered. Ed was controlling, selfish and had serious issues. It is extremely sad that Terri thinks that he truly loved her. If he really loved her he would not have treated her the way that he did. Just because he had mental issues does not give him the excuse to treat others the way he did.
People think that once they fall in love, life is going to be perfect from that point. What they don’t realize that people fall out of love all the time and that the initial feelings that come along with falling in love fade. Once that occurs, love then becomes a choice that two people must make in order for the relationship to last. In order for love to last, it must be thought of in the verb form instead of in the form of a noun. After love is established between two people, they must work in order to keep it ongoing.
"people fall out of love all the time and that the initial feelings that come along with falling in love fade." Ooch. This is true, and not just with "bad" people or "bad" marriages. The question, then, is what do you do next? And, even if you know what to do, how do you do it? Knowing that love is a choice and being able to make that choice moment after moment are two different things. I think that working through the issues by reading and reflecting on stories like this can help us develop the capacity to do love better on a daily basis.
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